Thank goodness myself and My Marmalade Chum are safely ensconced in Big Cage. The goings-on of recent times were purroving a bit discomnogurating to my plump friend, and it was time to accompany him Out Of Harm’s Way. He was taking on the look of a haunted cratur, all bug-eyed and twitchy!
Obviously I have only [...]

Click here to read more from Orkney Mainland

Such a time we have been having. Such a time! Chaos all around us, chaos to the right of us, chaos to the left of us, volleyed and thundered the effing boxes, into the jaws of madness we galloped, and, as far as me’n’Marmers can see, there’s no way out for the glorious 39th. We’re [...]

Click here to read more from Orkney Mainland

Pond
To this pool of light my steps are lead
A hollow place of water mud and weed
There is no passing by, my feet are stayed
And all my heartfelt fears are eased
 
There. A little bit of iambic catterel in the middle of a hectic Folk Festival.
From the Opening Concert on Thursday evening, to the Lunchtime Session at [...]

Click here to read more from Orkney Mainland

Well might you ask. We certainly did. The news, from the point of view of me’n’Marmers, is not wholly good. We are told that our tenuous tenure in the land of our birth is hingin’ oan a shoogly nail. The reason for the recent trip Sooth of our parental units was to secure the lease [...]

Click here to read more from Orkney Mainland

So far so good. The variety of stuff bipeds will fork out for knows no bounds. Vermiculite; calcified seaweed; a table with one leaf; bookcases; mugs; a fishbox full of rooted cuttings; pottery kitties; curtains; Lego; books; a piece of tweed; lamp oil and a lamp but not to the same person; a chair; pictures; [...]

Click here to read more from Orkney Mainland

No, I know there isn’t one, but I’d quite like there to be one. I see my fanclub (of one. You know who you are…) has been missing my pearls of wisdom and I would like to apologise sincerely to him for the break in service. There is a reason…
In last Saturday’s Herald I espied [...]

Click here to read more from Orkney Mainland

We’re so excited here in Anorak Towers, I just can’t tell you how excited we are!
Yesterday, the Magnificent Travelling Teacosy of Landlady arrived in a humble jiffybag through the Catflap of Doom. Immediately me and fpu set up a photo opporchancity in the Sunroom of Eternity (on Stone Table). However, today we had a bit [...]

Click here to read more from Orkney Mainland

Oh the shame! Old Scotia’s Grandeur and Erin’s Pride besmirched! How could I sink so low as to be influenced by a mere purrvincial rag? (Apologies to ST, put it down to too much liqueur and feline hyperbole).
There I was enjoying a private quaff, as I thought, and all the while the pussaratzi were bent [...]

Click here to read more from Orkney Mainland

NOTICE
All visitors must go to the sluice room and wash their hands before entering the unit. Any cases of diarrhoea must be reported to the Senior Carer.
“I don’t want that.”
“It’s Lorne sausage, remember, square sausage - a Glasgow speciality?”
A flaccid square of lurid pink at sea on a flood tide of baked beans. Hard to [...]

Click here to read more from Orkney Mainland

I truly believe that gorgeous Señor Froggie, decked out in his alluring finery, has made all the difference. The very day after he appeared, resplendent in his pagan florals, his froggie friends began arriving for their Spring sojourn in Pond 1. 
Don’t tell me they weren’t lured by this fine upstanding figure of a frog. How [...]

Click here to read more from Orkney Mainland