The Travelling Teacosy Part 1
We’re so excited here in Anorak Towers, I just can’t tell you how excited we are!
Yesterday, the Magnificent Travelling Teacosy of Landlady arrived in a humble jiffybag through the Catflap of Doom. Immediately me and fpu set up a photo opporchancity in the Sunroom of Eternity (on Stone Table). However, today we had a bit of a rethink, and noticed that a purrticularly impurrtant comestible item had been omitted from the frame. A lack of attention to detail by my digicam operatrix I’m sure you’ll agree, Stromness Dragon
So we did another highly purrfessional (aye right) photoshoot, this time in the Sitting Room of Indolence (on Hoy Table). An ideal place to serve up Hoy Tea…
Next on landlady’s Big List is the aforementioned Dragon, so we’ll be popping up with the TT any moment now.
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If only I’d been given the chance mrlnlass, but people can be so cruel… 
I can’t promise that my kittens will be so considerate……nice one FC. Having taken possession of the tea cosy this afternoon, (thanks to FPU) I plan to take it out and about tomorrow, weather permitting!
brilliant,fc–i have already ideas for it over here or if it gets sent to my temp adress in france have good ideas as well–only problem will be in france or nz
I note with relief that none of the tea cups on the “Hoy” tea-table have a tea bag string hanging over their lip … the teapot is being used for its original purpose! A strainer is in place for the leaves!!!
Do you put the leaves under the daffs, which give such a breath of spring to the whole setting.
have you anymore ideas plaid,for the teacosy??
The Sunroom of Eternity looks delightful, as does the Stone Table. In Halifax there’s a small hamlet called Stone Chair, itself close by Shelf. They’d go very well in the Sunroom of Eternity maybe.
Halifax has a lot going for it (extremely picturesque for starters) but can’t hold a candle to your sunroom or its sisterly Sitting Room of Indolence.
Taddoe … how’s about a photo on top of Mt Cook? 
Or perhaps cruising under that arch rock thingy up Coromandel way? Or, if in France, seeing ANZAC Day is coming up in the fields of Flanders?
Perhaps it could be posted to me from you? I have a photo shoot in mind … in civilisation this time!
Oh absolutely not Plaid, the very idea! Teabags? Ptui! 
We get our leaf tea from a little place nigh St Nick’s Kirk in Aberdeen, called McBeans. It always arrives in a plain brown wrapper, which has been tastefully decorated with a colourful drawing of strange, imaginary insects, the day after ordering.
May I take this opporchancity to remind everyone that, wherever the Travelling Teacosy goeth, it must be by express purrmission of Her Maj The Landlady?
So, if the current recipient could just run their pre-plans up her flagpole, so that she can cascade down and incentivise, I’m sure, at the end of the day she has us all on her radar; Her door will be open to all stakeholders who can come to the party, touch base, and get all our ducks in a row down to a level of granularity that will leverage our talents onto the strategic staircase, as I am sure She would not want to wrongside the demographic.
I hope this is clear… 
A wee bit cluttered table there fc, I tried to read your paper.Your dad looks a wee bit like Fidel Castro.
You could use tea cosy as a bed no problem.
I’ve passed your message on to mpu Harry His response:-”¡Viva la revolucion!”
its better me being the last recipient for the teacosy plaid as i say i fly back to froggie land on the 14/4 and don’t know how long for hopefully no more than one month or maybe all the time,the ball is now in kiwi immigrations court 
Y viva la socialista y la Libertad. Ole!
I like last photo best, the latest metamorphosis of dear old Che. As to socialista, my dear gringo, you would not be wearing those fancy glasses with vari/graduated lenses were you in Havana, not with the economy there even worse than it is in the USA, or the UK Be happy you live in the land of Cromwell and Henry of the Many Wives, of tea cosies and hot water bottles (any one cares to show her/his favorite water bottle “cosy”). Anyway, can you imagine the Fank being held in the middle of sugar cane field?!
Course I could have varifocals, if my name was Raul or Fidel!
Just what I thought, Hyper B. # As to the charge of cluttering levied by Harryd, I must agree. How much of that stuff came from SD’s lair? (kidding). The mug bottom left, reddish: that’s a Denby coffee cup, is it not. My favorite design. Mine are all green, and wife’s are blue.
What are you doing up so late, Hyper-B? Too much caffeine? By 9.30 pm, I often hit the sack. Or are you hoping that your investments in Madoff or Stanford (Sir, to you) can still be recouped? Oh, and how did you like the Heimlich maneuver Mrs. Obama performed on your sovereign?
In some parts of our small world mjc, that would mean you are a Roman Catholic (QED) and your wife is a true blue Purrotestant…and I wouldn’t put it past you to mean just that…
The reddish and blue mugs are from the Westray Potter and the sweet pea mug from Trudi at the Waterfront (this is fpu’s nickname at the gallery). The blue hare mug was a Mystery Gift from an overseas correspondent…
Mpu’s portrait in oils is by a local artist, Robin Bownass, whose wife Joan Holdsworth makes lovely things from glass, like the white-framed picture.
The small painting of Stromness houses is by Crispin Worthington who lives at the South End. Other things have their own significance…
Up late mjc? I am determined to age disgracefully, so late to bed and late to rise is becoming the norm. That plus this evening’s televisual offering of a very interesting hour and a half documentary about fish in japanese culture. I’ve come to the conclusion that I prefer mine fried or smoked. No fugu for me.
Someone’s keeping the old man from his bed. I blame the US of A. It’s always handy to have someone to blame…
My dear mjc, furtunately I am still manning my post here at Anorak Towers, and I see you have clicked on a photograph (middle bottom row) and made a comment that may now be lost to all but the most intrepid. This is what happens when you don’t first click out of a photo before commenting on the main blog!
Just thought you’d like to know…
mjc Says:
Oh well, I went back and saved it all (cf. below). Thanks, FC2.
April 5th, 2009 at 11:00 pm edit
Somebody tell tiumpanhead that my comment is awaiting benediction, and that, thank goodness, it is not raining cat and dogs (not yet) in southern Indiana. # Oh, do you folks chip your pets in the UK. When one of the dogs took off (forgot which one, they seem to take turns) recently, I wished the hound good travelling, washing my hands off the yokel, but then I realized “Darn, the animal can always be traced to me for once I had the foolish idea of paying good dollars to get the bugger chipped!”
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mine aren’t chipped but have their numbers tattoed on their ears
I’ve just managed to see this blog properly on my desktop (laptop didn’t show the photos too well). I didn’t realise the teacosy was for actual use on a teapot - are you sure about this, FC? Did you have the proper permission for teacosy application? I like the portrait of mpu, it’s excellent - who did it? And I recognise the card with Marmers… but your own handsome self is a perfect addition to any table, stone or otherwise 
It never occurred to me that Her Maj might not approve of teacosy application, because, with it being Art, I just took it for granted that anything went, in a Hirsteminkahlil sort of way
It doesn’t seem to be a feature of this theme that comments are numbered or, before Our Other Ruler says anything, my settings may need tweaking, but the answer to your Q is eight comments back, counting this one!
My goodness chipped buggers and cats, whatever next!
My goodness Fc, the teacosy was well looked after at Anorak Towers. I personally prefer to see it on a teapot- after all, it may be unclear exactly what it’s purpose is without a teapot inside(under??) it. Like William Morris, I go by the maxim “let you have nothing in your home which is not useful and beautiful” (or whatever he actually said- that was the pith of it I think.)
A pattern for a hot water bottle cover seems a Brilliant idea, I am away to source one right now.
I used to have a water bottle and its own tea cozywhen out travelling in the snow with my uncle in his Morris Minor years ago. Now, would I tell a fib?! Looking forward to the Artsy Craftsy design for your water bottle cozy (cosy? Any difference?) landlady.
what kind of MM,MJC??? I would love to have a “WOODY”
It was a proletarian MM, taddoe: no country squire cladding. I liked the manual turn signal best: ah, old fashioned technology. And don’t get me started on the original 2 chevaux, with the manual gear box that you pull, twist and shove right back. The good old days.
ah “” la deu deuche” a hellish thing to drive–evey time brother in law turned a corner i was convinced we’d roll over!!father in law had a “acadianne” a 2cv vn like thing he drove to his garden(10,000 m3)little garden(i am being serious) they were funny,but still nightmares on corners like the “saloon” version
I want one of the country squire clad ones. It would mean we could all wear woolly jumpers with leather elbow patches with impunity!
Fpu’s pig covers were always stripit in the interests of throwing no scrap of wool away.
when i first visited nz i was surprised to see how many “old cars” were on the roads: not as in “love them,do them up and keep in the garage” no on the roads everyday! hillman imps, vauxhall viva’s,morris minors,hillman avengers,truimphs(all kinds)vw beetles: but here on the coromandel??? its just mindboggling; Whangamata has its “beach hop” every year in March–awesome but here in whitianga the older the car is ,the better it is!! not good news for car firms is it??o nly here there are loads of “dodges ,t birds,mustangs,fords” its like going way back in time!
When my old mum was a young girl, she knitted a hot water bottle cosy/cozy (nah, I dunno which it is..) for her mum’s xmas. only difficulty, it was a cozy for her OWN hot water bottle.. They saw the thought is what counts I suppose.. gran however got her own back by knitting a rather spiffing bathing suit for mum. As mum pranced into the water, the suit stretched and stretched till it was eighteen times the size and fifty times the weight…. exit a rather red faced mum.. 
It was the saggy bit at the crutch where all the water gathered that was the pinnacle of embarrassment! And if you had even a hint of chestal development - oh goannae no dae that! I think Billy Connolly had the trunks…
Its definately a coSy landlady, wir no goannae be Americanized, no us, no sirree!
Oh hullo taddoe, what time of day is it with you? I’m away to the Sunroom of Eternity…in fact mpu has just carried me through this minute. You don’t get service like this just anywhere you know…mmmmm Go-Cat *le crunch*.
its 10h53a.m–( we put clocks back one hour at the weekend) mpu is carrying you? are you legless 
Lovely tea cosy and lovelier table with all the bits. Nice painted portrait of the mpu and the daffodils look nice, but wouldn’t they do better in a vase?
Legles??? Legless??? Moi? The very idea. I only ever imbibe alcoholic drinks in the interests of Research taddoe! Mpu carried me through to the SoE because he’s my willing slave, is all.
Thank you LovelyOutlander, you’re very kind. The daffs, like the rest of us, just have to suffer for their art…pussibly with a capital F…they were rescued for the second photshoot and only succumbed yesterday.
What a charming teacosy, and what an excellent likeness of el Padre de la Revolución!
el padre de la revolucion, eh Pineapple? Tell me, are his binoculars camouflage green? No? Then check “He’s a birder” and NOT the “He’s the Proletariat’s Great White Hope”. Nothing wrong with being a birder, mind you. I am really looking after his back: I would not want him to be mistaken for the other fellow, with the mafia putting hair loss inducing powder in his shoes.
I may be great, white and hopeful but I am only of the proletariat in the sense that that is my station in life .
I’m looking for Barney. Has anyone seen him in here? I thought I saw him a while ago, but he seems to have disappeared. Its all getting too confusing what with the Travelling Teapot and sundry undercover revolutionaries.
It is a very good likeness, isn’t it Pineapple. We had two to choose from and fpu liked that one better. Partly because he is wearing a twenty+ year old Fair Isle pullover bought for him in Shetland and now fitting even better than it did then
he was standing here a minute ago. Now he’s sitting down. Get in touch, O Feline of the Travelling Teacosy, if you feel the need! Or was this a precautionary measure?
Is that you back from the delivery trip Barney? if so how did it go? True to NHS form my trip to the witch doctor has been postponed until next week, until our wedding anniversary in fact and I know where I’d rather be!
Hull, Hyper-B, yes got back Saturday. Too much or too little wind meant that 95% was done by motor - a very good one, i must say. But hammering into a head sea at 7 knots in one of these modern “flatiron” designs with no underwater shear makes for a good deal of banging and slamming. So the trip was a useful experience but not much joy. The two highlights were a super-hot combo in “The Kissing Pigs” in Bonifaccio, a couple ofguitar virtuosos who had Django in their fingers, and seeing Stromboli erupt repeatedly during the night of the 31 March - probably an ominous forerunner of the earthquake last Monday. We reached Lavrion at 0510 on 4 april, just in time to cat nap, clean the boat and get to the airpot on time for a 1320 flight. Phew!
Oooo aaaah oh-ho harrumph so there you are little Neddie the Sea Goon! You’re shorter lying down. No wonder I didn’t see you
I say, thanks to ole Hyper popping in a pertinent question, FC Inc is honoured to be the host to one of what must surely be the most interesting comments ever to appear here.
Kissing piggies, the ghost of Django Reinhardt and Stromboli erupting on the afpu’s birthday! Blimey!!!
However I cannot condone catnapping, as who knows what it may lead to…
revolución para los pájaros, peut-être, see if I don’t?
Libre Como Un Pàjaro! de El Vagabundo Genial…
No wonder they say that even half way decent folks are deserting English in droves. But what for, you might ask? Something difficult like Chinese or Sanskrit? No, for the lingo of Franco. Lisp here, lisp there, and soon enough it develops pretensions to being a civilized language. El vagabundo genial? That surely is not the way to develop solid capitalism. The Kirk’s embrace, and the protestant ethic, clearly have missed some folks (pere, mere et fils, obviously: I don’t bother with accents).
If it’s of any interest at all, I can still recite the fifteen verbs that must be conjugated with etre. Not sure what this might have to do with anything previously commented on as I only understand about a third of what some folk say, but ,you know, I just thought you might be wanting to know that . About the fifteen verbs…..
Oh I say EffCee, that must surely rate as the hyperbole of the 21 C, but very nice of you I’m sure. Landlady, it is a bit much, isn’t it? But do we know that they know what they are trying to say in writing??? Eh? In addition to the fifteen verbs, aren’t there 5 nouns (substantives these days, no doubt) ending in -age that were feminine? Cage, rage, plage, image et ?????? - help me!
At least in French the direct article comes before the noun and the verb appears in the appropriate place. Not at the end of the sentence, like some more northern languages I could think of.
I think perhaps you a problem with that have, HB?
Try Suomi, HB, it vill Finnish u in that respect!
Help you Barney? You’re beyond help! But, nevertheless, courage mon brave!
I couldn’t help but notice that you had “Part 1″ on your heading, does this indicate that there are more?
How very perspicacious of you Tws. I was kind of hoping the number 2 would be done by someone else. I’ve done my number 1 and passed the item in question on to Stromness Dragon, who I am sure will give it a really good time.
As the froggy says to the pommy - there you are, in your thirties (or whatever), and you can’t speak French. Here, young ones have no problem with it. Ibid. for Suomi, Uighur, Magyar. It is true that some folks have a knack for languages and others have a horrid time even with their mother tongue: probably genetic.
Should we alert Twinings and Clipper that the Travelling Tea Cosy exhibition is the in place for tea producers in 2009? TSM is close by Clipper’s HQ so she can tip them the wink.
Landlady and conjugation: clearly you have won the pot of gold. Where it is hidden, however, I cannot tell.
I think that would be an excellent idea, Mr FX. Clipper would surely leap at the chance of a photo opportunity with a travelling teacosy!
Alert twinings is something cats do better than any other animal on this earth…
Well if Mr Mandela is so clearly delighted to make the aquaintance of not just my teacosy but my tea POT- How did he get it past his ears???- I am sure Twinings tea should be honoured to get a wee swatch at it.
I can forgive Suomi for having a language which is difficult ( to me ). Finnish is, I believe, one of only two surviving members of a very old language group the other being Magyar. Where my little brain gets delighted and puzzled in equal measure is with the later variants of the Indo-European group particularly the Germanic ones. So similar and yet so different.
FC2: is tomorrow the day when your PUs are signing off the roof over your head? Don’t tell me you and marmers are going to take your plump selves to the mainland? Maybe Auntee Jeelie will take you in? or SD? or you might be sent in a prepaid carton to Soaplady (there will be the good life: special butcher’s cuts and such. If she can spoil a dog, imagine what she’ll do for two well trained and cuddly cats like you and marmers?!). What?!! I would love to, dear felons, but the cottage is quite full. So sorry, but good try. Oh, have you checked Dounby? No? What’s this nonsense about “not being up to your household standards”?
Much as I am sure Soaplady would be ever so kind to us poor soon-to-be-homeless kitties, and sure as I am that we could manage the d.o.g., its her Maine Coon Fauvey that would put the fear of Fury into me! It would eclipse us both!
I think m’Marmite Chum would be too much for Mouse and Her Friends in the Dragon’s Lair - never mind squashing kittens…
And the answer to the last query is a resounding yes!
And the answer to the last query is a resounding yes! - FC2 #Yes WHAT? This not the last episode of Joyce’s Ulysses, I shall let you know. Tell us what your ejaculation meant.
“Yes WHAT?” Is it a puzzle? Is the answer “Yes Purrlease”? Oh I see. I meant the answer to “What’s this nonsense about “not being up to your household standards”?” is a resounding “Yes” I was agreeing about the not being up to my household standards bit…not the nonsense bit…I hope this is clear?
Well, did you get the papers all signed up? When you finally heft yourself to a new house and yard on the mainland, it means that you have the right to cause massive devastation to your heart’s content, and your bank account limits, under the guise of renovation, improvement etc. It’s amazing how fast money can disappear when one starts busting walls and sod.
I don’t think we’ll be building sods mjc. There’re more than enough of them around as it is. Anyway, many a slip. A verbal agreement has to become a written agreement which has to become an exchange of missives, which has to become a closure…could be weeks at this rate…and they could still pull out. We need to get them tied into a moving date PDQ.
Would you like my Uncle Guido’s phone number? [P.S. Busting sod, as in double digging for an RHS style garden. No wonder you folks are known as a nation of stiff necks and stiff backs, what with all that shovelling. Shucks, even your upper lips are proverbially stiff].
I say EffCee, you really can’t leave Stromness until the good ship “Beatrice” has hove into view and exchanges of courtesy have been exchanged between your pus and the undersigned. Somewhere around end of May, I should think, although detailed planning has not yet started. The Moray firth and its coasts are not on the homeward course.
The Moray firth and its coasts are not on the homeward course. - barney # You could detour. Calmac detours. You could put in at Anstruther and get good soup at the Ship Museum, and the chippy is not bad either (so the locals insist).
Not to mention a round of golf on the Crail golf course, right out on the Ness, and a visit to the Crail potter, my old friend Steven Grieve. Interesting but probably impracticable idea, Mjc.
If you wanted to do Crail, you could unstep the mast and transit the Forth and Clyde Canal Barney!
See, Barney, doable. I hear the Crail potter now has a whole line of designer teacosies knitted on the islands. As the updated Michelin guide to Scotland probably already indicates: “worth a detour.” # By the way, would someone put a note on Hermit’s blog wishing her all the best from me. I can’t get in without loggin in, and somehow I can’t do that. Thanks.
I absolutely echo Mjc’s comment re. Hermit, I find it very, very, upsetting that this fine person should be hounded off Sanday and off IB! Oh Hermit, we shall miss you indeed. It seems beyond beliefthat people can be so disgusting. Re. transitting via the F&C canal, no way, HyperB, the Falkirk Wheel has a maximum draft of x metres, the value of “x” I can’t remember, but “Beatrice” draws more. Must stop now when the steaks are being served!
You don’t need the big wheel Barney. Turn left at Grangemouth locks and enter the Forth. The , rather splendid, Falkirk construction leads on only to the land of the “Hauf English,” and thence to perdition.
PS. that bit is called the Union Canal. Nuff said.
FC2, this is the end of the road, the blogging Falkirk Wheel, unless you come up with a new posting.
He Hyper-borean explain the remark aboot Hauf English please.
The Falkirk wheel is quite an achievement. Barney probably has a houseboat and would be okay using it Perdition indeed.
Are you out travelling? Did a Tesco or an Ikea and missed the ferry, did you? Are you in the land of the Falkirk wheel?
“Hauf English.” An expression used by my wife. Many years ago an employer of hers when introduced to folk from Edinburgh would remark that the denizens of said city were,”Hauf english.” A simple token of the regard with which the rest of Scotland (especially the bit to the west thereof) regard the Capital. No disrespect to the wheel it is a good example of my belief that great engineering is beautiful.
The wheel is lovely, I took my brother, sis in law and two American friends on it last summer, and they were jolly impressed. It’s just a shame its in Tamfourhill, so they have to pull the gang plank back at night which crosses from T Hill housing scheme, over the canal to the wheel site ,and it’s play area, lest the marauding jakes who inhabit T hill should come and imbibe their buckfast on the seesaws..
No longer any problems with the Wheel or Grangemeouth (thought that is a good tip, thanks HB!). “Beatrice” has a 10% deposit down and after some expensive work recommended by the surveyor she will exchange hands before a month is out. Sniff, sniff, snivel! Or Hooray, depending on how you look at it. Or maybe both at the same time.
If Beatrice is almost sold, does that mean you will not be gracing the placid waters of Hamnavoe Barney? I hope the sale goes through, we are in a similar position, housewise. The only problem being we don’t have a deposit.
Hyper, you have astutely hit the proverbial nail on the head, re. the further destiny of “Beatrice” and her Scottish voyage.
The marine engineers in Troon are a highly thought-of bunch and they have experience of “Scampis” from imports during the ‘70es. So there is a high probability that they will complete the repair (boring out the stern gland, replacing the bearing and prop. shaft and propellor) properly and within the quote (if you believe the last you will believe anything).
Never fear, sailing in Scottish waters is still the main thing, if not on “B” then on whatever floats.
Good luck with Rolling Acres and let me know where you land - there’s life in the old dog yet (”Archy & Mehitabel”).
One of my FAVOURITE books Barney!!!! “Archie’s life of Mehitabel” graced my mums bookcase for years, but I had completely forgotten about it till now…
Oh, Yr. Maj., we have SO many things in common. I am sure that you are “..always a lady, Archie, always a lady”. Perhaps we were closer together in our previous lives. At one time I had a relationship with a lady who claimed that she and I had met up about 1000 years ago when she was a holy prostitute in an Indian temple and I … what was I? A customer, I suppose. I may not have asked as the whole proposal seemed a bit rum to me (and still does).
What a treasure trove has opened up before my wondering eyes. That Mehitabel was a bit of a goer and no misteak. If only I could have met her, how different my path through this pixellated parade of pulchritude might have been. *sigh*
“My liff is so romantic/capricious and corybantic” What a gal! I’m away to polish up my ’scutillated occipit’ both of which, I’m happy to say, are not recognised by the spelchequer!
You’re awful young Barney to have seen these ineffable writings at first hand, so I suspect it is like fpu’s Goon-enjoyment…inherited…
PS There is another alternative to ‘customer’ Barney, but I desist from mentioning it
No, EffCee, it is all first hand stuff, so now I’m truely dated, like a bristecone pine after a C14 analysis. I could lay my hand on the volume in 2 jiffies of a squirrel’s tail. I don’t remember the anatomical detail, is it from the pen/typewriter of Archy? All Goon quotes are also first-hand experiences. Re. dating, please don’t forget that we in Swithiod have the oldest dated still-living trees in the world, much older than the bristlecone pines (those Californians, always thinking they are the biggest and best!) unless the BCP have much older root systems, which are the old bits on the Swithiod specimens.
I am sure there are several alternatives to “customer”, EffCee, let us remember that minors peruse these pages!
(”those Californians, always thinking they are the biggest and best!) - Barney. And look what they ended up with?!! An Austrian muscle pumper Governor who thinks he can speak Spanish and English!! (Kidding: he speaks English very well, and his accent is charming). In the old days, we could have had a real Bonaparte for the same price (not that those Bonapartes did the Mexicans or the Austrians any good: come to think of it, I am not sure Napoleon did the French any favor). Let me tell you Barney, if I had to choose a Californian or a Texan as a long lost cousin, I’d take the Californian any time (Bienvenidos, compadre).
If the little dears don’t like it they can b****r off! Anyway, their parental units should be aware of what they are up to, instead of letting them lurk in their rooms surfing the web. From FC’s Handy Book of Kidrearing.
Hyper-b: could you not put a deposit in the name of the prospective buyer? Now, let me think, would that muddy the water? # I am off to New Mexico with a friend on Tuesday: hopefully the swine flu is not in full swing in Albuquerque by the time I get there. I asked my wife, a highly trained quack, “What are we to do if we come down with the swine flu?” Her answer: books and music - and if you go under, nobody can say you wasted your time. Thank you, Memsahib, my thoughts exactly.
You may or not be aware, Mjc, that the Swedish “royal” line was started by an absconding general of the Bonoparte army. Now that the Princess Royal has become engaged to a commoner there is a renewed interest in the idea of Sweden as a republic. But best of all suggestions - a serious one - was to have neither King nor Queen nor President. Rather creative, in my opinion, but obviously not intended for application to the Queendom of Cardy. By the way, I saw a sign saying Cardy on a door at Stansted Airport - I take this to indicate some 5th column in England is working for our greater good.
If I had to live under her monarchy, one could do worse than living under the Dutch or Swedish ones. An example (doing worse) immediately comes to mind, but I shall refrain. Politeness, etc., requires no less.
Funny how your politeness doesn’t extend to cats 
Piñata my furry backside!
Norwegian Royalty is equally unpretentious as the aforementioned. Also Anglo-German on the female side at least…good old Vickie, bred for Empire!
Appropriateness is the mot du jour. What is good for a species may not quite be the thing for another lower on the totem pole. And yet, live and let live - which is of course more than cats can say about voles and birds of the air (poor Dodo, never did take to the air, and ended up in Dutch intestines). In view of the trail of blood that seems to follow cats all over the islands (and elsewhere, eg. in south England), can a queasy fellow be blamed for preferring that noble beast, harbinger of the hunt and a day well spent, the multi-faceted dog?!! Be reasonable!
Elocution and oratory worthy of a modern Cicero! Give that man a medal. And I have just remembered the name of the upstart general, Jean-something Bernadotte. Would someone consider presenting a prize, please?
Well done Barney!! Jean Something. Excellent recalling- ten points!!
Landlady, have mercy: how is Barney supposed to remember one of the many combinations the French have developed with the prenom Jean? Jean-Marie (sounds rather bisexual, I believe), Jean-Pierre (two apostles for the price of one), Jean-Jacques (we all know what a sot he turned out to be), Jean-Baptiste (enamored of water), and of course there are oodles of Jean-Claude (wonder where that combination started?). When next I see you, Barney, perhaps at the Borstal Gaudy, I shall treat you to a dram (that will be your prize: surely you don’t expect a whole bottle?!).
They look great. You weren’t tempted to sleep on said tea cosy were you?