Oh the shame! Old Scotia’s Grandeur and Erin’s Pride besmirched! How could I sink so low as to be influenced by a mere purrvincial rag? (Apologies to ST, put it down to too much liqueur and feline hyperbole).
There I was enjoying a private quaff, as I thought, and all the while the pussaratzi were bent [...]

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NOTICE
All visitors must go to the sluice room and wash their hands before entering the unit. Any cases of diarrhoea must be reported to the Senior Carer.
“I don’t want that.”
“It’s Lorne sausage, remember, square sausage - a Glasgow speciality?”
A flaccid square of lurid pink at sea on a flood tide of baked beans. Hard to [...]

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I truly believe that gorgeous Señor Froggie, decked out in his alluring finery, has made all the difference. The very day after he appeared, resplendent in his pagan florals, his froggie friends began arriving for their Spring sojourn in Pond 1. 
Don’t tell me they weren’t lured by this fine upstanding figure of a frog. How [...]

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Silence reigns at the Court of King Crrroakticus.
The Harem has omitted to turn up, pop along, show willing. Or, indeed, anything.
Poor lonely King Crrroakticus. He pulled out all the stops - see how he dolled himself up and decked himself out in all his vernal finery for the 2009 lovelies of Frogdom; see the cornucopia [...]

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